sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize