you win again, gameday.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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