Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
