You can't special order awesome
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
