What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
