Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
