somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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