What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
