There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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