Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
