You're so nebulous sometimes
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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