Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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