I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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