its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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