but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize