my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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