i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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