Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
