Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
