This is not my ceiling
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The air was thick with penises
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
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