Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Who died my cat blue again?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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