Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
