Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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