Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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