it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
