He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
