you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
