I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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