I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
