forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize