Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
