I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This is classic penis vs brain.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
