I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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