I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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