i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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