well I can't set my house on fire every night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
