i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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