Plan B is the new Plan A
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
handjob tips. give me some.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
