i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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