Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
cat food counts as protein by the way
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
