the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
