Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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