Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
