I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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