maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
