Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish you could order shots online.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
