he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
