You're so nebulous sometimes
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
