Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
