He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
