Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
