it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
