So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize