And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
