So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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