office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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