My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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