I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
