i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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