TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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