There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
