New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
