it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
