wrigley field is MILF paradise
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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