I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
