i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
