I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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