Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
