u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
