I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
