I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
