I heard we made out
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
