I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
