I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize