its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
