Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
