We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
