Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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