at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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