I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I did not marry a roomba.
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