I wish i was in the wii world.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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