they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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